


Fear. Prize. Crave. Dream

by Coraleeveritas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coraleeveritas/pseuds/Coraleeveritas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daenerys Targaryen takes Kings Landing in a blaze of fire, Brienne makes a decision to save Jaime's life by pledging her allegiance to the new Queen.</p><p>Written for the J/B ficathon prompts for fisting and orgasm control, however this is more than just sex</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Salty Sweet by Ms Mr.
> 
> A big thank you to the wonderful and talented RoseHeart for being a brilliant continued support and persuading me to expand and split this into three chapters. You are amazing!!!
> 
> None of this is mine. Characters and settings belong to GRRM

Today had marked the first day following the end of his imprisonment that Jaime had been permitted to train alongside the Queensguard knights and Brienne desperately wished someone had given her prior warning about his inclusion in the group.

It had been over a year since he'd held a sword in his hand, his lack of practice unfortunately clear even to her relatively inexperienced eyes, fourteen or so moons since the Dragon Queen had burnt Kings Landing to the ground in a blazing swirl of red and black and gold flame.

They were supposed to be in the North when the attack occurred, a pleading message had come by raven written in Sansa Stark's delicate hand, but Brienne had stayed a day longer to find the words that would persuade Jaime to travel with her. If she had known in peace time that her growing feelings were shared, it would have hardly taken more than a few breaths to remove Jaime from his fragile position within the King's household and they wouldn't have been caught up in yet another war. The tiny spark of love and trust she had been so afraid of letting out had pushed her to linger, becoming the very reason why Jaime and her had been present to witness the running terror of fire and blood.

They'd both been bloody and bruised as they fought back to back against a seemingly endless supply of young warriors. Brienne hadn't seen the like of them before, as if they were all of one mind, and was momentarily distracted by the new style when the dragon swooped. Jaime had ducked and rolled out of the way, his battle commander skills working in his favour, but the flame caught her foot as she stepped to parry a blow and the heat slowly began to move up her leg.

"Brienne", he had yelled across the open space, not even bothering to hide the concern in his voice as he stepped back into the fray to quickly take down her opponent with his sword firmly gripped in left hand. Jaime's  actions giving her a much needed second to roll handfuls of mud along the red flame, the dying glow reflecting in Oathkeeper held loosely at her side.

There was a momentary lull in the battle as their shared opponent fell to Jaime's experience, sounds of steel on steel easing away only to be replaced by the unquiet of death, as he stepped over the body of a Targaryen sell sword to come within touching distance.

Brienne's heartbeat doubled as he searched her face with care and she remembered the stories of another Targaryen who burnt his advisors alive in their armour. A shiver ran through her, visible to the all knowing green she couldn't yet pull herself away from and Jaime took another half step towards her. For the briefest of moments she thought that he was going to say something important but all that passed his lips was a chastisement.

"Keep your eyes open, Wench."

She nodded at him and got a tense half smile in advance, before the second wave of invading forces appeared on the horizon and they had to spin away from each other to meet the new challenge.

It hadn't been the first time Brienne had wanted Jaime to close the diminishing physical gap between them, never being able to find the right words to voice the swirling in her gut even as she faked sleep next to his prone figure in dozens of inns on their journey back to Kings Landing. When unconsciousness did take her it was only to live out all the ways Jaime could have died with Lady Stoneheart standing over him. The blood flowed in Brienne's head and she drowned, calling for Jaime as the liquid filled her lungs. Every time Catelyn Stark's ghost took him from her, Jaime would shake her awake like he would a comrade suffering from the aftereffects of battle. His hand would linger on her shoulder as she readjusted to her surroundings, the angle causing his thumb to slip under her tunic to press against the barely healed scar at her neck. 

Then there were the nights when it got so cold that Jaime would mould himself to her, snapping at her to save all the maidenly blushes for someone who was interested, and she would sleep huddled against him far warmer than any promise of a sweet summer day.

And now a world away from nightmares and warm beds they fought on, stepping in front of strikes meant for the other, one fighter in two bodies. 

By the time the third wave arrived Brienne was tiring, her stamina failing as the pain from her burn stabbed with each step. Jaime hooked his right arm around her elbow as she stumbled, pulling her away from danger yet again and she took out a man, no older than a boy, over his shoulder.

"Kingslayer!" the shout rang out across the courtyard as Brienne's knees buckled, the pain finally creeping under her senses, and Jaime gently placed her to the ground before he pulled away to face the threat for the both of them.

Jaime may not have been the man he once was but it was still his hand that killed The Mad King. A hand that had been forcibly taken from him after he had talked and lied the night he'd saved Brienne's maidenly honour.

The thought was of little comfort to her when it seemed like another man she was falling in love with was about to be taken from her as she weakly stood by.

"I haven't heard that for a long time, not since my Kingslaying hand was taken from me", he waved the stump at the men as he readied his sword again, "But I suppose my other hand might be just as good at taking down a monarch."

The Unsullied rushed at him, little challenge individually but combined there was too many weapons to stop, Brienne watched Jaime's sword strokes fell lower and she pulled herself to her feet to take Oathkeeper blindly into the skirmish. 

Brienne was reminded of the Stark camp as Jaime took a blow in the stomach and he doubled over, the follow up opening up a cut along his cheek bone and the force took him down. One of the younger men pushed her aside with a shoulder charge and she landed beside Jaime in a tangle of limbs, his hand roughly catching hers for a second before he was wrenched from her grip.

"Be careful with him." Brienne watched as an older gentlemen with silver grey hair stepped in front of the Unsullied warriors attempting to drag their prize to the vengeful Queen.

"Ser Barristan", Jaime tipped his head in the man's direction, "I never took you as a sell sword. How does it feel to break your vows?"

One of the young men backhanded him before Ser Barristan could reply and the blood trickled out of his nose as he let out a laugh. "Can't even fight your own battles now old man. What happened to you?"

"I returned to serve the rightful Queen."

"You've been away too long from court Ser, we've had more rightful Kings and Queens in the past few years then I can remember."

"Only one is the blood of the dragon."

"Little Daenerys, returned to seek what her father and brother lost. Tell me, is she as mad as the rest of them?"

"Take him away", Ser Barristan had ordered, "And that one too."

Brienne felt strong hands fit under her arms, lifting her up as she was taken to meet Aegon Targaryen's only living child.

In front of the silver haired Queen, the icy alternative to the fire of the Queen in the North, Brienne had done the only thing she thought left to her and pleaded for Jaime's life.

She had been expecting a trial by combat, perhaps against Ser Barristan who was acting as the young monarch's Lord Commander, but the fight never came. Daenerys fixing her with eyes the colour of summer lilac flowers as the words fell out of Brienne's mouth, silencing her with a stare the way only the benefit of royalty could.

"Your name my lady", she had demanded and Brienne had little choice but to reply, finding that she may not have been as much of an unknown to the invading forces as she was expecting. 

The Queen retold a story of Brienne's bravery against a group of sell swords her and Jaime had battled just outside of Maidenpool, the melody of Daenerys' voice almost turning the tale into a song. The exploit somehow being important enough to make it's way across the Narrow Sea.

Though the Kings men who had survived long enough to be taken prisoner had branded Brienne with the same moniker as always.

Kingslayer's Whore. 

Words were wind and now all they could do was remind her of another time when she had bargained for Jaime's life. Only this time around there was no Thoros of Myr to help her to disregard the orders of the woman in charge.

The Queen ordered the Unsullied to take the men still loyal to the outgoing King away, they would hang tomorrow, before passing sentence on the Kingslayer to an almost empty room.

The judgement seemed to echo in the silence, the words repeating in Brienne's head as she made arrangements to leave the city as soon as she was able to. The returning Queen having been gracious enough to recognise Brienne's accomplishments and offer her safe passage home, though only after it was decided that she was no danger to the new order.

Jaime though was not so lucky, it had been decided he was to be executed on the day following the victory, though the method of his death had not yet been decided. There were rumours, devastating whispers of fire that flickered and licked at Brienne's slowly healing burns, but even in a smoking ruin of a city the small folk still talked in hushed excited voices of things that may never come to pass.

Her journey south would take place whenever she was well enough to travel but even the mumbled acceptance of the clemency left Brienne with one final thing she needed to accomplish before she returned to her Sapphire Isle.

Jaime had been easy enough to find, a word in the right ear and a coin in the right hand, and she found herself hiding beneath layers of cloaks to steal into the night to say goodbye one last time.

The rain had begun during her slow walk, like the sky was providing her with the tears she couldn't cry, her clothes sticking to her skin as she came across Jaime's cell. He was as drenched as her, more so as he was unsheltered, and was on his feet the second he saw her approach.  
   
"Wench?" Jaime had questioned as if he couldn't quite trust his eyes.  
   
She had whispered his name in return before boldly reaching for his hand through the hastily made bars. He was already ahead of her, meeting her touch half way and pulling her flush against the side of the cage. They hadn't bound him, thank the gods, and she felt her skin prickle as he moved his fingers up over her arm.  
   
"I'm sorry", she told him, not knowing what else to say as his face moved to settle a breath away.  
   
"This isn't your fault Brienne." He exhaled and she caught his breath, not wanting to let go. His lips found hers ever so gently and she thought she was about to die alongside him. Warmth ran through her despite the chill in the air, heat swirling and pooling. And hurting. He nipped at her lower lip and a small strangled noise escaped her opening mouth, his tongue already moving to soothe away the overwhelming pain of loss she knew was coming.  
   
"You can't save me", Jaime told her after he'd pulled away, left hand coming to rest at her waist though his right arm was hidden like he thought it may disgust her enough to pull away from his touch. "A Lannister always pays his debts, and this one has been hanging over me for a long time."  
   
She kissed him again, letting the feel of his mouth sink into her memory. A taste of something she was stupid to think she could ever keep, and in that moment she vowed that she would find a way to allow him to breathe beyond tomorrow. Even if it meant that they would never be together again.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun had risen too early that morning, painting the sky a bloody foreshadowing red as Brienne considered her options. She hadn't slept for a minute following her first and last kiss with Jaime, her head too full of half missed chances and future possibilities to allow herself to take any rest.

Her armour was the last thing she wanted to give away, but carrying the pile of blue and gold out to the now roofless Sept of Baelor, it seemed like a small price to pay for what it could repeal.

Jaime may not have asked her to stay away that morning, not in so many words, but his eyes had spoken of all the things she would ever need to hear. His silent plea for Brienne to ride away on the best horse the horse lords could provide and save herself from the memory of the coming hurt.

As she approached the Queen and her makeshift Queensguard, Brienne caught Jaime's eyes widening as he stood defiant even in his perceived last moments. Though there was sadness seeping through now, his distaste of her desire to once again try and save a doomed man.

He still didn't know, she thought, as he watched her slow climb the stairs. A comforting kiss no declaration of love.

Brienne could never deny what he had done, though only she had heard his confession in the baths at Harrenhal, finding his intentions had been less self serving than she originally thought. 

After what she had witnessed her world was no longer split into the purity of good and bad anymore, she had grown up on the road and thrown that clarity away somewhere between a bear and an echo of a woman she'd respected. 

A Kingslayer Jaime may be, but there would have been far more damage if he hadn't stepped in. Kings Landing would have burnt to the ground in a green haze of wildfire while she was still a child on Tarth rather than the dragon's breath a day earlier. And Brienne would never forget that she had broken oaths too. Though if given the chance she would never break another one again. 

There was little grace to the way that she threw down her armour at the feet of the Queen, the colours of House Tarth gleaming in the early morning sunlight. Brienne couldn't look across at Jaime now, she had to follow this through and hope the respect Daenerys had shown her wasn't just all in her head.

Falling to one knee, Brienne bowed her head and tried to remember how the young handmaiden had introduced the victorious Queen to the small folk the previous day.  
   
"I pledge my allegiance to Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. I give myself into your Queensguard …”

“You are willing to give your life into service to save his man?” Daenerys understood what she was trying to accomplish without the need for any further explanation. The Queen pointing at Jaime who only had eyes for Brienne, looking at her as if madness had taken her instead of the Targaryen. “This Kingslayer."

“I am Your Grace.”

Living without Jaime but knowing he still lived in some far off corner of the seven kingdoms was a far better outcome than Brienne had ever thought possible. And in the Queensguard she could escape the awaiting marriage bed her father would send her to as soon as she stepped foot on Tarth again. Hyle Hunt's offer would unfortunately have to be considered again should that happen.

The Queen had taken a long look between the two knights before her, no one would deny Brienne the chance to call herself that now, one ordered to die and the other willing to step in the way to prevent the act from being carried out. 

Muttering a short phrase under her breath, in Dothraki Brienne assumed as only the guards on her left hand side seemed to understand the meaning, the order rang out for the Unsullied warriors to finally release Jaime.

"Take the prisoner away and bring Lady Brienne into the sept."

 

The vows had been easy enough to repeat, easy enough to follow, easy enough to take to heart as if taking the place of other things that Brienne pushed down and away. Defend, obey and protect the Queen, council and keep the secrets of the crown safe and to never wed or carry a child. 

Brienne's hand fell over her pounding, or breaking, heart as they settled the white cloak around her shoulders. It should have been purer she considered, the thick material blowing out behind her heavy with dust and dirt as if they had purposely recognised her selfish reason for pledging her life. 

Ser Barristan had found her praying hours later, the dirty white cloak around her knees as she whispered half forgotten epitaphs to the Maiden and the Warrior. One for her, one for Jaime.

"Excuse the interruption", the knight had begun as she turned, silvery silent tears evident on her scarred cheek. "Are you regretting your decision My Lady."

"I'm no lady, not now", Brienne stood up as she sent one final thought upwards to any one of the seven who could here her.

"There would be at least one in this city that would disagree with that sentiment", Ser Barristan's voice filled with pity.

"Jaime", she whispered, more than half in agreement, "When will they move him?"

"Daenerys has already sent ravens to Pentos to arrange for his banishment. It is likely he will set sail in the days ahead."

"That is good news Ser. Thank you."

Brienne made to leave the Sept but the Lord Commander stopped her, "Lady Brienne, if it would please you to stay and listen, Ser Jaime is too valuable a man to be sent to live out the rest of his days in the house of Her Grace's friend. A Lord Commander, even one such as he, should not just be tossed aside."

"It is done Ser", she had told him before leaving, "I am to do my duty to the Queen."

"You know the weight of the words you have just spoken, better than anyone else I serve alongside I should wager", Ser Barristan paused, "And I give you this information freely and purely. Ser Jaime is being kept in what is left of the inner most gate house."

Brienne left silently, torn in two. Goodbyes had already been exchanged so there was no reason for her feet to be carrying her towards the gate house. Feeling less like a noble knight in a children's story book as she climbed the stairs to his chamber and more like a nervous bride being sent to her groom, Brienne fought every step. 

They would never hold those particular titles now and she had no right to be standing outside of his chamber door, betraying all the trust placed in her.

"Why did you do that?" Jaime spat at her as she entered without knocking, white cloak following her into the darkened room. "Why couldn't you just let me die?" he shook his head as the white gleamed under the moonlight, casting her in an unearthly glow, "You've got a whole new set of oaths to break now, Wench. I hope you enjoy a life as a glorified bodyguard. Just remember, it's only for life."

He let out a bitter bark of laughter and she clenched her hands into fists, "Do you really want to know why I did it?"

Jaime shrugged, considering everything in the room but her, "For your fucking sense of honour I suppose."

She let out a held breath, "I love you."

"And look where that's got us. You tied in service to a Targaryen Queen and me to never see Casterly Rock again."

"I thought ..."

Jaime pushed himself up off the chair, more silver than gold now as he moved towards her, his words as soft as the cloak at her back. "You thought wrong. A life without you is only half a life. I would have died yesterday to see you safe. You're just too stubborn to understand that."

Brienne closed her eyes as he cradled her cheek in his left hand, taking the weight of all the decisions she'd made momentarily away.

"We can't do anything", she whispered against his mouth.

"I know", his words nothing more than breath as kissed her anyway.

It hadn't mattered in the end, the cloak hit the floor as soon as she realised that kissing didn't break any oaths. Not even when her back was pushed against the wall and Jaime's hand danced over the buckles of her new armour. His fingers finding hidden soft spots of skin underneath that made her want to sigh with the new sensations.

By the time he had removed her tunic it had gone too far for her to stop it, her own hands trembling as she tried to undress him in kind. Brienne's skin rose in goosebumps as he had pressed his lips to places she would never have imagined, his touch hungry as if he'd been denying his urges for some time now.

She was burning by the time Jaime guided her to the bed, her thighs and knees picking up the tremble from her hands as he lay beside her. Skin to skin now and each touch was not nearly enough.

She would have given her maidenhead to him that night, breaking a vow only hours after she had sworn it with the only man she would ever want to have it, but he pulled back.

"I can't break this vow, not again", Jaime groaned, his head falling back against the pillow. 

"I am happy to remain a maid", Brienne whispered in reply and he slipped his hand between her legs, the uncomfortableness quickly giving way to a glorious shuddering in her muscles. 

It was just one night, she thought, as she took him in a tentative hand and his breath hitched, never to be repeated.

She had been as wrong as she could ever remembered being.

Ser Barristan was a man of his word, and whether for her benefit or Jaime's he had spoken to the Queen. Jaime overnight had become more important as a political prisoner, a tactical advisor locked up like a princess in a tower and every night she thought about her breaking vows with him over her, under her, inside of her.

There was love there, whispered words in the dead of night, soft silent kisses as she left just before dawn and it felt like a surrounding protective warmth as Brienne went about her daily duties.

All of which was why she now found it difficult to watch him fight against her fellow members of the Queensguard. Brienne had tried to spar with him in the months he spent in captivity, but the room wasn't quite big enough and she couldn't risk taking him outside even with the eyes of Ser Barristan kindly occasionally keeping watch for them. Jaime had always respected the Lord Commander and the older man had found it difficult not to trust Brienne after she had saved him from a couple of drawn arrows. 

Jaime still had instinct, she could see that as he circled the Dothraki bloodrider, years of training that had taken hold and couldn't be forgotten that easily. Though his left hand was almost as weak and sloppy as it had been the first time he picked up a sword again. 

And so they'd mocked him, not Ser Barristan but some of the others, calling him out on what he was lacking. 

"A one handed man is no fighter", the bloodrider, who's name Brienne kept forgetting, told Jaime, "He travels with the old men and the children."

"And a Dothraki has no place in a Queensguard. Your horses can't very well carry your swords for you." 

He took a hit to his right hand side, the blunt blade knocking off the gold at the end of his wrist, and Brienne thought she would be the only one to realise that Jaime's responding smile was covering the pain reverberating up his arm.

Though he still maintained enough composure to bring around the tourney sword and hit it off the younger man's exposed shoulder, lying beautifully "That move only works if there was something left to hurt."

Brienne knew how he felt about it at times, the stump. Sometimes she would see him looking at it in the mornings as if he'd been dreaming of being whole again and the waking revelation was a disappointment all over again.   
His other lover, his long dead sister, had pushed him away because of it. To Brienne though, it was nothing more than a battle wound. She had hers, a ruined cheek and scars over scars and Jaime had seen no problem with caressing each of one them. Though he could still withdraw when she came close to his.

She had kissed it once or twice before, took the puckered flesh of his right wrist into her mouth, tongue running along where Qyburn had joined the healthy skin together and Jaime had released so hard into her hand at that small act she thought he might of blacked out afterwards.  
   
His eyes had shone when he'd eventually looked up at her, such a look of love and trust that she had been stunned as he settled her down on to his chest. The memory of his reaction, her acceptance and how he was losing, giving rise to an idea that Brienne wouldn't normally be bold enough to voice.

Jaime had stalked away arrogantly  from the yard after the final fight, mock bowing to the youngster that had smacked the tourney sword off his ribs hard enough to bruise, not quite humiliated but having taken a beating she knew would make him wish there was more than just gold at the end of his right arm.

She wanted to follow him back to his chamber to provide some comfort for his bruised ego as well as body. Though that action would be far more dangerous that the thought behind it, so she would have to wait until full darkness fell once again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jaime?" Brienne's voice was only just loud enough for him to hear as she found the chamber door before her unusually barred. It spoke of all the frustration and self loathing he must have been fighting with, for on a normal night as soon as darkness covered the city Jaime would more likely than not leave the door ajar and wait for her to come to him.

It was that hugely powerful thought that hung over her when Brienne wouldn't see him for weeks in the daylight, his expertise often needed far away from the stables or practice yard. She would pass him briefly in the hallways and nod, an unobtrusive gesture speaking of years of friendship. Only later her friend, her lover, would tear her clothes off with gentle hands and she would beg for him to move his fingers faster.

Her timing wasn't always impeccable these days, her visits starting later and later as her Queensguard duties became seemingly never ending, and she had once or twice walked in on Jaime impatiently pleasuring himself with the sound of her name echoing in murmurs and groans off the chamber walls. His desire for her, for all she was and wasn't, adding to the already building jittery arousal that began every time she ducked in out of the dark and took the first step up the circling stairs.

She had meant to be there earlier tonight, her lateness likely not helping the feelings he would try and hide from his earlier problems in the yard, though when she did arrive it was to find it was far preferable to have him start without her than block out months of trust, respect and love.

Queen Daenerys had been taking the night air as Brienne had left the rebuilt castle, having to stumble over a quickly thought up lie and pretend she was going to an evening training session with some of the squires who she usually only practiced with in the afternoons. It had taken hours to round them all up and let the Queen watch the growing skills of her youngest warriors, Brienne now being too tired to fight with Jaime. Yet she had still climbed the stairs.

"Go away wench", She heard him retort, an odd mix of pride and pity in his voice, "You have no desire to let an old cripple fuck you tonight."

"Do my thoughts betray me?"

"Your thoughts and your actions My Lady. Now run along and find yourself a man that could beat you in a fair fight to break your vows with. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

Brienne tried to ignore his calling out of breaking vows, they were frighteningly alike now when consumed by forbidden things, having been so careful not to provide regular chances for a bastard to take up residence in her belly. Though the guilt that often tickled at her when the sun beat down was a reminder that when Jaime had taken her maidenhead, it was in direct betrayal of one of her sworn oaths. 

The only one that Brienne hadn't managed to stand resolutely by.

"For years I've only wanted you", her voice dropped so low Jaime would have to strain to make out her words, "You're strong enough."

"I have no need for your pity Wench. Not after today", Brienne could almost hear every breath from his assumed position right behind the door. "My hand is in no fit state to assist you with your needs."

"What of your other parts?" the words flew out of her almost as quick as he unlocked the door and swung it open.

"Do not jest with me", Brienne heard his ever so slightly quickening inhales, seeing Jaime's face peering out at her, inquisitive with maybe just a hint of desire.

I'm not", she took a steady breath and waited for his reaction. "I want you to fuck me with 'it'."

"It?" Even in the near dark she could see his eyebrow quirk, Jaime may be frustrated with himself right now but there was another type of frustration he saved specifically for her, and that was slowly winning out.

Brienne reached for his uncovered right arm, Jaime flinching a little at the touch but letting her guide it to her lips for a kiss. "This."

His mouth opened and she waited for the put down, for him to tell her to leave him but it didn't come. She had never seen Jaime's eyes as wide as they were in that second, considering her blunt proposal, emeralds glinting like it was one of the best ideas she had ever had. 

"I love you. I want only you", she told him between well placed kisses, revelling in the vague womanly power the moment produced as she felt the heartbeat at his wrist along her cheek, "All of you."

"I wouldn't want to hurt you", he told her, the sneer in direct competition with his rapidly drawn breaths.

"I trust you."

Jaime paused for only a second longer before pulling her in for a kiss, mouths finding familiar rhythms as he reached down to remove Brienne of her tunic. She kicked the door closed as the material fell to the floor, already working on Jaime's laces. They were like this now, half passion and half loving, almost always knowing how the other would react. If perfect wasn't a word so far out of reach Brienne would have thought that there was an element of it in the way they were together. He found softness in all of her hard planes and she eased away some of his rougher edges.

It felt like she was undressed in less time than usual, Jaime following close behind as they half stumbled, half fell into the bed across the room.

"What are you doing?" Brienne asked as Jaime lay beside her, starting to kiss across her ruined cheek and down her neck, finding all the white lightning lines of scars long past healed. It was a almost a slow worship, she realised, as he pushed her further down into the comfortable softness of their shared bed. His hand and stump slowly beginning to trail up the outside of her legs, her skin patterning with goosebumps at the barely there touch.

"What ... are ... you ... doing?" She asked again through a sharply drawn breath as his mouth settled around a pink pebble, the beard he refused to get rid of scratching at the sensitive skin under her slight breast to send excited spirals of hot familiarity down her spine.

"It's bigger", He told her simply, and the entirety of her skin blushed at the fact that she hadn't really considered that earlier. Jaime's only response was a breathy laugh as he trailed over her ribs, finding a breaking bruise at her waist.

"Seven hells you're eager today", he cursed as her hips bucked up to hit the solid muscle of his chest, lips hovering over her navel so that she could feel every breath he let out blow over exposed skin. "I'm not going to go any faster if that's what you want", he teased as Brienne brought a hand into his hair and pushed him further down to meet her spreading thighs.

Sliding up to allow her back to rest against the cool wall, she discovered it was even more arousing to be able to look Jaime in the eye as he bathed her tenderness with his tongue, each lick accompanied by a small glimpse of pink and a widening smile. It never failing to surprise her how much Jaime actually seemed to enjoy making her pant with desire. 

He continued to hold her gaze as if that contact alone would allow him to share in her oncoming climax, every other sound now falling out of Brienne's mouth a unrecognisable version of his name.

Jaime. Jaime. Jaime.

His grin widened as she felt the tingling settle deep into her calves, sensations falling down her spine, the throbbing heartbeat between her legs blocking out the one in her ears and Brienne let her eyelids close, waiting for the explosion to rack her body and leave dancing spots of light in her eyes.

It didn't come.

"Jaime?" She breathed out, floating along on a cloud of almost relaxation as he rocked back onto his knees, his own arousal at the situation plain to see. 

"Yes?" His lips were shining, tongue slipping out his mouth as if even though he'd left her half satisfied, he couldn't deny himself another taste. Jaime raised an eyebrow only, some semblance of control still there even above the clear desire.

"Touch me", she whispered, feeling ridiculously wanton in her current naked flushed state.

His mouth was back in seconds, fingers finding spots to make her squeal and grunt. Stroking, pushing, thrusting. Brienne instinctively tightened around the pair he easily slipped inside of her, stretching her twitching inner muscles, though he pulled out yet again just before the bliss could completely overtake her.

She forced her eyes open again to see Jaime settling on his knees in the space between her legs, his gaze flicking over her face like he was looking for permission. Brienne didn't think it needed saying now but murmured the words anyway, "I trust you Ser."

"My Lady." Jaime groaned as she shuffled further upright, leaning over to close her hand around his erection. He had teased and tortured her for long enough today, Brienne thought, as she started to move as slow as she possibly could, drawing out his pleasure. It wouldn't bring him to completion, but it would show him just what it felt like to be made to wait.

She groaned in return as the stump pressed against her nub, her back arching to fall against the wall again. Over sensation ran through her as he circled the spot, Jaime fighting against his own desire to start as a hundred tiny pleading noises fell out of her. Unbefitting to a knight, but every one a reminder of how she couldn't deny her femininity, how much she wanted and was wanted.

He filled her slowly, good hand gripping at her hip in an attempt to keep her still, the stretch divine as her body didn't fight the urge to soar. It felt like she was hovering just off the bed, though she could still feel the rough sheet against her arse. 

Jaime pushed and she shuddered in response, allowing every inch of what he still sometimes couldn't stand move up inside of her. 

Brienne forced her eyes open to take a look at him, all blown pupils and parted lips, and she didn't need remind herself how much this actually meant. All the pain and rejection were forgotten in the moment as he thrust and she groaned, every sound she made he met with a strangled one of his own. She awkwardly reached to palm at his cock again, only really half aware of the motion as she locked eyes with him and couldn't tear herself away.

Her unoccupied hand fell around Jaime's neck and she pulled him up and closer to her, settling her legs around his waist as Brienne rested his forehead against her own. Green and blue swirled as the dance continued, her hips finally finding falling into a familiar rhythm  though it was his breath that was ragged.

"Brienne", he whispered her name in-between shallow inhales as if he still couldn't believe she was the one who had brought this suggestion to him.  
   
"I'm here", she moaned back, running her fingers along the soft skin at the nape of his neck and into his hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

She thought she was close to the edge, it was threatening at her control, but Jaime was apparently closer. His release landed across her palm, despite her lacklustre efforts, as she screamed his name so loud the guards in the keep possibly could have heard her. She hadn't meant to be so vocal, but the reaction to that sound was almost worth the momentary impropriety. 

Brienne only hoped she had proved her point, she saw no weakness in Jaime, no disgust, no repulsion in her for any part of him.  
   
Recovering quicker than she thought would ever be possible, Jaime grasped at her thigh to pull her gently down and on to her back again, right arm leaving her now swollen flesh before his fingers were thrusting and pushing in the same place, lips falling against hers. In all the time she'd known him like this Jaime could never have been described as a greedy lover, she may have made it all about him that night but he was desperate to have her follow him into oblivion.  
   
She involuntary shivered at the continued over sensation as he covered her body with his, every place that had screeched for release wanting to buck and rub against him to find the trigger. Jaime's right arm rose to unsuccessfully wipe the hair away that had stuck to her forehead, his elbow tracing shapes across her face as he stared. 

He pushed up one final time and her back flew off the bed, arching in a perfectly graceful movement, as the release kept washing over her in waves and waves and waves of white hot ecstasy. The air flew out of her lungs as the pleasure ran along every vein, every muscle, every inch of her and Jaime held her close as she silently trembled into the comedown.

He was hardening against her thigh by the time she found enough strength to open her eyes, every muscle fixed with a type of languidly she hadn't experienced until now. 

She watched Jaime tentatively remove the evidence of her orgasm off his fingers, holding himself briefly over her before his body couldn't maintain the position anymore.

"The Queensquard will miss your presence at morning practice", he mentioned in her ear as she fought the sleep coming along with the dawn, not telling or asking her to leave just simply stating a fact.  
   
"What if I was unwell?" She stretched under him, the tingling still pushing at the edge of her consciousness, happy that he felt the need to keep holding onto her until the tiny movements had completely dissipated.  
   
"They'd send a Maester."  
   
She met his eyes carefully, not saying anything she really wanted but it wouldn't matter as Jaime knew every single one her concerns anyway. It had been over a year, every day the possibility of someone important finding out about their often enthusiastic lovemaking getting higher and when that was relayed to the Queen an end to all that they shared would be in sight. The promised banishment no doubt not far behind.  
   
"I wish I could marry you", Jaime answered the unspoken question as his head fell back over her, lips pressing along her neck to trace the scar that showed her devotion. The near mortal hurt that had come about long before anything else had come to pass. Brienne found his words weren't anywhere close to a new idea in her mind, but she had vowed to serve the Queen and that came with a price.  
   
Jaime murmured things against her skin that Brienne had known for months. "I want to marry you and take you far away from here. I love you."  
   
Brienne smiled sadly, silent agreement passing her lips in a sigh as she brought her arms around his back to rest a hand on his shoulder, for as much as she loved him that was one oath that could never be broken.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


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